2003-07-10 - 12:27 p.m.

“Gotta Be This or That”

There’s an old (around 1945) Benny Goodman tune, written by Sunny Skylar, that insists that it’s gotta be this or that. Sooner or later most of us learn that there’s a big gray area between black and white. However, an important part of Jonah education stresses “this versus not-this,” and now these lyrics drive me up the wall.

If you ain't wrong, you're right
If it ain't day, it's night
If you ain't sure, you might
Gotta be this or that…
If it ain't sis, you can't miss
It's got to be your brother
Can't you see it's gotta be
One way or the other
If it ain't full, it's blank
If you don't spend, you bank
If it ain't Bing, it's Frank
Gotta be this or that.

I keep on thinking of what else “it” might be. And whenever anyone asks for a choice, I can’t answer without asking questions. Do I prefer strawberries or blueberries? And I want to know: for what purpose? In pie? On ice cream? Do I have to prepare them (blueberries are easier)? How long must they be kept? I like both – put either in front of me and I’ll eat ’em – but I’m a pain in the neck if you give me a choice.

The Jonah exercise goes something like this: “What’s the opposite of big apple?” And someone will answer “small apple.” And the instructor will say, “how about ‘big banana?’ That’s not a ‘big apple.’” Some other answers have been:

• Chicago – if big apple means New York
• IBM – because it’s been known as Big Blue

When you’re trying to solve problems, it’s a good exercise. It draws you out of the box. And you know what else? It’s fun.

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Pretty Clever, Huh? - 2008-12-08
Deja Vu... - 2008-12-07
Morally Wrong - 2008-11-25
The Difference - 2008-11-18
Writer's Block? - 2008-11-17